


Remember Me

by Shinigami_Mistress (Southern_Breeze)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Conspiracy, Death, F/M, Hidden Feelings, Loss of Memory, Rebirth, Secret love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 02:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5029363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southern_Breeze/pseuds/Shinigami_Mistress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a very difficult story to create a summary for, but I will do my best without giving everything away. William made a decision early on to conceal his emotions. He thought it was for the best and feared anything that might bring him happiness. After all, if a reaper's existence is all a part of a punishment, were they even allowed to be happy? He had worked hard to create this image for so long - especially when it came to Grell.</p><p>That was until a series of circumstances took Grell away from him, and all he has left is a tangled mystery to unravel to discover exactly who is behind all of this and their motives. In the midst of everything, he learns that perhaps not everything has been lost.</p><p>This is very much a work in progress, so more characters may be added later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

****

Just Remember

_Please note: In these early sections, William refers to Grell with masculine terminology. This is not meant to be disrespectful of Grell and will also transition as the story progresses. I thought I was done with Grelliam, but this one pulled me back in for one more trip._

Chapter 1:

 

The building was dark with shadows hanging from the corners like forgotten secrets as an overwhelming silence choked the air. An old man, who had no proper home, had chosen this foreboding place to die. Perhaps he had been attempting to escape the stares of the world that had so cruelly isolated him, but even here his progress had been thoroughly observed. In this dark, dank place, his final struggles were watched carefully by a set of gold-green eyes that missed nothing. Even though this was his first mission without a senior reaper present, William T. Spears had already developed quite the work ethic.

“I wish the old geezer would just kick off already,” announced an annoyed voice to his right, “This place stinks. Why is all of the living world so filthy?”

William glanced over at Grell. The aforementioned reaper was running a hand through his scarlet hair, which William noted had grown since graduation. “We have a job to do,” he said, “Also, it has not been that long since we were a part of this world ourselves.” Since they were still both rookies, it was true that they had been human themselves up until rather recently by reaper standards.

Grell offered William one of his sharp toothed smiles before walking over and leaning his head on the taller man’s shoulder. “Perhaps,” he relented, “but we escaped and became something more.”

“I’m not positive about becoming something more,” William said in a quiet tone, although he was fairly certain that Grell wasn’t paying attention as another sound, soft yet unmistakable, filled the space. The man had finally taken his final breath.

“Finally,” Grell said, “Come on, darling. Let’s get this over with.”

“I’m not your darling,” William replied automatically. Grell had been saying things like that ever since their final, but William still wasn’t sure what it all meant. One minute Grell had been ready to kill him, and the next he was announcing his love. At first, William had thought Grell had acted that way simply to confuse him, but the more time he spent around the vivacious redhead, the more he found himself wondering if there was any truth to what Grell proclaimed. 

“Not yet,” Grell said in a cocky tone. He laughed lightly before turning and rushing headfirst into the unknown.

Still unsure of what all this meant, William adjusted his glasses and followed. The man whose records they had been sent to collect was lying in darkened room near the back of the complex, but William had been so focused on simply doing the job, he didn’t smell the demon until it was almost too late. Apparently, neither had Grell.

Grell was ahead, but as he rounded the corner, a dirty man with stringy hair leapt from the shadows. His rotten teeth were bared in a gruesome grimace as the smell and sweat and vomit clung to his nearly skeletal form, but the smell of demon was even stronger. A blade flashed in the light as the demon that was within him gave the man inhuman speed. If not for his own superhuman speed, Grell’s face would have slashed by the blade, but he jumped out of the way so that only a long lock of hair was cut. Seeing the look upon Grell’s face, William couldn’t think that cutting the hair that Grell was trying so carefully to grow was probably more dangerous. The hair in question floated down almost serenely to the dusty floor where the vibrant strands seemed to glow despite the darkness.

Cursing loudly, Grell swung his scythe around and was ready to stab the man cleanly, but William quickly grabbed hold of his arm and shook his head.

“We can’t interfere,” he said.

“But my hair,” Grell whined.

“You know we can’t do anything for a human that lets themselves come under a demon’s control,” William stated, “and we definitely can’t kill someone who’s not on the list.” Turning, he stared at the man and realized the demon would not be long with this one for his health was declining rapidly. “Of course, reaper code 662-65371A clearly states that any human who interferes with the official business of a reaper for any reason can be detained and subsequently terminated if deemed necessary by the reaper in question.”

The possessed man stared at the two, and William knew that his strategy was working. Demons that had no physical forms of their own and had to resort to temporarily using the bodies of others were some of the weakest of their kind, and this one seemed to realize that taking on two reapers, even if they were green, was probably suicide at best. What it didn’t realize was the code that William had rattled off were for human directly involved in matters that could render a soul unsalvageable. Even if he was threatening them, if he or Grell actually killed this man, they would be punished. After several minutes of staring, the man turned and retreated. His form melted into the shadows as if he had become part of the darkness itself.

“You were so forceful, Will,” Grell cooed, leaning closer to him. His hands slid up the shaft of William’s scythe until they were resting gently on his fingers. “You know how to make a girl’s heart melt.”

That was something else that William didn’t understand. Grell had stated recently that, despite his physical body, he was female, and this made no sense to William. He had at first thought that it was just another play for attention, but Grell wasn’t backing down on his assertion despite a fair amount of ridicule. Now, William was started to wonder if there was something to what Grell said, although he was admittedly still confused. “We need to get to work,” William said in lieu of his internal dialogue.

“Of course, darling,” Grell said, before turning and bouncing into the room as lightly as a child skipping towards a freshly wrapped presents.

“I’m not your darling,” returned William, but Grell wasn’t listening. Adjusting his glasses, he started to follow, but his gaze was drawn back down to the dusty floor. Almost without thinking, he retrieved those long strands of hair that were as vibrant as fresh blood and stuffed them into his pocket.

((x))

Time had no real meaning to a reaper. There was talk of overtime and hours, but everything was measured by what had to be done currently and in the near future. It seemed pointless to look beyond that since their sentences could stretch for all of eternity, but the passing of days and weeks suddenly gained new meaning for William. He had realized, little by little, that he was falling for Grell. It wasn’t all at once. He didn’t simply wake up one morning and jump from the bed shouting, “I love Grell!” It was little things he noticed, such as collecting Grell’s cut strands of hair, that made him realize his feelings were changing. He still didn’t understand Grell, and the chaos that surrounded the red reaper even frightened him a little, but it was utterly pointless to deny the way he felt. As much as he complained, a part of him liked when Grell invaded his personal space and he got a whiff of a new perfume. It smelled faintly of vanilla and roses, and William now associated both scents with Grell. Even when he managed to keep his face as blank as a wall of stone, his heart thundered in his chest and threatened to shatter that mask. Somehow, he would have to work the courage up to talk to Grell about the situation.

Each day the opportunity arose, but William just couldn’t seem to find the words. He practiced exactly what he was going to say by looking into a mirror, but even his reflection didn’t seem impressed. It appeared that he was simply going to have to take a chance, even though he had never been much of a risk taker. Finally, he decided he had waited long enough and he marched straight to Grell’s desk only to discover that the redhead had momentarily stepped away. Hoping not to look suspicious, he stepped over to a nearby water cooler and poured himself a cup of water. Hovering nearby and sipping at the cold water, he waited for Grell to return. As he stood, two older reapers came over to get their own water, and William couldn’t help but hear their conversation.

“I know why I’m so unhappy now,” a tall man with shaggily cut brown hair said.

“Why’s that?” his companion asked. Unlike his friend he was a short, slightly stocky man with closely trimmed dark hair.

“It’s because this is all a punishment,” answered the first man, as we waved his arm to indicate the office, “If we’re having fun, then we’re not being punished. If we’re not punished, we can’t be redeemed.”

“So, you’re saying we have to be miserable? I guess that makes sense, but it sounds harsh.”

“Punishments are supposed to be harsh,” replied his friend, “So, I’m not happy, but I’ll take some solace in that. Besides, what is worth more; being unhappy now or not finding redemption and finding out exactly what happens to reapers that are never redeemed?”

William’s hand reflexively crushed the tiny, paper cup in his hand, which was thankfully empty by this point, as the weight of the man’s words began to sink in. None of them truly knew what happens to those reapers that didn’t find redemption just as no one was sure what happened to the ones who failed the academy. Did they simply disappear or would they be sent on to Hell? Somehow, not knowing precisely made the whole situation worse.

“Why hello, Will,” a familiar voice said close to his ear so that the hot breath of the speaker tickled his lobe, “Were you lonely without my company and decided to pay me a visit?”

“Of course not,” William sputtered, not even daring to turn and look at Grell directly. “I was simply thirsty. Excuse me.” He shoved past Grell and hurried down the hall to the restrooms, although he had no desire to use the facilities. Despite the water he had drank, his throat and body felt dangerously dry.

Stepping inside, he saw that he was alone, so he walked slowly over to the mirrors. He had never seen so much confusion and uncertainty on his face, and he couldn’t help but wonder if what he had heard the other two reapers talking about was true. Being a reaper was a sentence and a punishment, and punishments were unpleasant. Perhaps being happy was enough to prevent someone from redemption.

Perhaps loving Grell was enough to damn them both.

The thought made him jump and, as he looked into his own eyes, he made a firm decision. He couldn’t take the chance. While he could love Grell in his heart, he could never display his emotions openly. He had to push Grell away, even though it would hurt both of them. He could take the pain in his heart a million times over rather than think that his actions could lead to a horrible fate for someone he had grown to care about so deeply.

With his mind made up, he washed his hands as if physically washing away the entire matter, and stepped outside the bathroom. It had always been whispered that he had been a bit cool before, but now he moved with an iciness that seemed to drop the temperature in the room. A few others even looked up as he walked past and moved steadily to his desk, but no one said a single word.

It was as if he had been reborn a second time, but this new William was even colder and stronger than before. He had no need for foolishness or the fickleness of emotion. Instead, he would be the ideal worker that thought of nothing but his task at hand.

As he walked back to his own desk, however, he paused for one brief moment to look across the room at Grell, who was now sitting at his desk, and a tiny part of his heart that hadn’t turned to stone ached. 

How cruel it was to finally learn to love only to have distance his own heart. Perhaps this was his true punishment after.

((x))

Their endless sentences stretched forward, and William found himself being promoted to supervisor. Most everyone agreed he was undoubtedly qualified even if he was now regarded with having all the personality of a houseplant. Only Grell seemed truly happy for him, even though William could now use his new position to place an even larger wedge between them. After all, everyone knew it would be inappropriate for a supervisor to have a relationship with any of his subordinates. It was be a gross misuse of power, no matter how willing the subordinate. He began to be rougher with Grell, to push him away more forcefully and reject him more cruelly. It stabbed at his heart each time, but William tried to tell himself it was all for the best. At some point, Grell should have moved on and found someone else to love. Even with the unsavory and frankly undeserved rumors floating about concerning the red reaper, there were still some that were obviously interested in the fiery redhead, but Grell had never wavered in his affections. William wondered at his tenacity.

His feelings about Grell was actually not on the forefront of his mind that day as he walked down the hall towards the conference room. There had been a sudden rise in demon sightings, and a few of his newest agents had been hurt quite badly in an unprovoked attack. There were already horribly short staffed, and the newest batch of recruits were not even close to being ready to go into the field. Earlier that day, he had gotten a report from Upper Management, which is why he had called this emergency meeting. The agents wouldn’t be happy with this news, but he allowed only a minute part of his annoyance to show as he walked into the room.

Conversations ceased as soon as he appeared, except for Grell’s rather animated conversation. He was actually seated on top of the table, his crimson hair spilling onto the polished surface, as he laughed loudly. Ronald nudged Grell and pointed towards the door, but Grell only turned slightly and eyed William almost casually with a rather satisfied smile painted on his face. Without rush or apology, the redhead slid off the table and took his seat while everyone watched rather nervously.

With no more commotions to attend to, William strode to the front of the room and adjusted his glasses as he allowed his gaze to drift from one face to the next. “I’ve heard from Upper Management,” he began, in lieu of a proper introduction, “and informed them of the increased incidents in demonic activity. So far, it appears to be mostly limited to our branch. However, I have been instructed to take specific actions. From this point forward until further specified, at least two reapers will be assigned to every case. This will have no bearing or change on our workload.”

A mumbled rippled through the room, but only Ronald bravely raised his hand. “Uh, what does that mean about our work hours?” he asked.

“As both agents will have the same number of assignments as when they were working alone,” William began, “it means that our schedules will be increased comparatively.”

Ronald groaned. “But when will I have time to go on dates?”

William readjusted his glasses even though there was no actual need. “Your issues concerning matters outside of this office is not my concern, Knox. You will have to arrange any social activities so that there is no interference with your work. Understood?”

There was some grumbles and nods to indicate that, while no one was happy with the news, they understood that they were to follow the new guidelines. “Very well then,” William stated, “Everyone is to return to your desks as your new assignments will be arranged accordingly. Until then, I’m sure everyone has paperwork that needs attention.”

Slowly, the reapers got up and began to file out of the room, but Grell hung around behind with the same strange smile on his face. He waited until everyone had left before approaching William directly. “Oh, Will,” he purred, “I love when you are heartless and cold like that.”

“Do you have a question, Sutcliff, or are you just annoying me when you should be working?”

Grell stuck out his bottom lip in a fake pout. “I was just curious if you’ll be working in the field too since we’re so dreadfully low on agents right now.”

“There are no plans for me to do so at the moment,” William answered. Thinking that this conversation was over, William turned and started towards the door.

“That’s too bad,” continued Grell, “because I’d be happy to volunteer to be your partner.” He stepped forward and ghosted his fingers over William’s arm as he spoke. “We might even find an abandoned asylum.”

William stopped as if he had been struck as his mind filled with images. Him. Grell. The dusty, abandoned room with rubble and silence as their only companions. The first tentative touches followed by hungry kisses. William took a sudden deep breath as she shoved the memories back into the locked, desolate corner of his mind. “Get to work, Sutcliff,” he growled as he stomped from the room without even glancing back. 

He was still shaking slightly as he returned to his own office, and the memories were threatening to spill out of him. Grell had been sworn to secrecy as to what had happened between them on that particular assignment, and he had never spoken a word about it since. William knew that he certainly hadn’t told anyone because such a story would have been all over dispatch in mere seconds, but this wasn’t what William needed to be focused on right now. His own problems would have to wait as he dealt with the demon issue first. His own problems always have to wait. Thankful to be entering the solitude and safety of his own office, he opened the door and quickly stepped inside.

Immediately, he learned that he wasn’t alone.

A tall man was standing to the left of his desk staring out the large window that dominated the far wall. Since William’s secretary had not told him that someone was waiting for him, this man had to create a portal to his office, which meant he could only be from Upper Management. William felt his mouth go dry, but he calmly shut the door behind him.

“May I help you, sir?” he asked.

The man turned around, and William saw he had rather plain features. He had a darker complexion than William, and his own black hair was thinning slightly in the front. Smiling slightly, as if it was an expression that didn’t come easily to him. “Hello, Mr. Spears,” the man greeted, “I’m Elias Rutherford. It is a pleasure to meet you.” He extended his hand.

William walked over with what he hoped was a confident stride and shook the offered hand. “Likewise, Mr. Rutherford,” William said, “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Elias’s smile grew, but it didn’t reach his two-toned eyes that were nearly hidden by his thick-framed glasses. “Upper Management has learned that demons have been converging in the ruins of an old church within your precinct,” he replied, “and it has been decided for you to investigate this matter. You are to do anything that’s necessary, even if it contradicts your own moral guidelines.” He produced a large envelope that had been hidden inside his jacket and handed it to William. “This will tell you everything that is required of you.”

William opened the envelope and scanned the contents quickly, but immediately saw a problem. “Upper Management can’t be serious. Are we really so desperate to resort to such acts?” he asked.

“We are, sadly,” Elias replied, “If the information we’ve gathered from our spy network is correct, then we are facing a most dire situation, Mr. Spears. It is a time for all of us to put aside our own feelings so that we may protect the higher good.” He stood up straighter and looked down at William slightly. “We all have to do what we must.”

William nodded, although he was far from happy with the situation. “According to this report,” he said, “there is a rumor that the library is also a target. Should the defenses around the library be increased?”

“We’ve already put up a holy barrier,” answered Elias, “although I doubt there was a need. It’s not like demons can simply waltz into our realm. Just in case, you might want to put someone in the library to guard it. That way, we will have all our bases covered.”

“I will do that, Mr. Rutherford.”

With a quick nod of his head, Elias walked swiftly to the door. “Remember, Mr. Spears,” he said, “Sometimes we have to do things we prefer not to for the greater good.” With those words of supposed wisdom, he walked out and hurried towards the elevators.

William returned the documents to the folder as he preferred not to think of the task at hand, but he realized that it wasn’t something that he could put off for very long. Growing more annoyed by the second, he started to leave his office so he could get this unpleasant task over with, but he bumped into Grell as soon as he stepped past his door.

“What are you doing here, Sutcliff?” demanded William.

“I just came by to give you this paperwork, darling,” Grell answered, holding up the aforementioned documents. “I’m completely caught up, dear. Aren’t you thrilled?”

“Surprised is a more accurate description,” stated William, “Go ahead and place them in my box so that I may review your reports later. I have to step out for the moment.”

“Oh, you’re going somewhere? Let me come with you! I haven’t gotten any assignments yet.”

“No!” William said, a bit more sharply than he had intended, but he couldn’t allow Grell to know where he was going. He cleared his throat as he regained his composure. “Actually, I have an assignment for you, so you will not be able to accompany me. There has been some reports of demons possibly targeting the library. You are to stand guard there, starting now, until you are relieved by another agent later tonight.”

“The library? But that’s so boring, darling,” Grell said, leaning closer, “I’d rather go with you.”

“This is an important task,” William continued, as if he had heard Grell’s plea, “Try not to botch it up as you usually do.”

“I do not usually botch things up!” Grell exclaimed, a bit of wildfire alighting in the green forest of his eyes. “I’ll do this boring assignment, but you’ll owe me, darling.” Turning around, Grell walked away with an exaggerated swish of his hips.

“I’m not your darling,” William said automatically, but those words no longer held any meaning. He watched as Grell walked away, completely unaware this could very well be the last time he’d see Grell as he was now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

 

William stood perched on a high branch of a nearby tree as he stared down at his accursed destination. By his very nature, he was the type to follow the rules and to create order out of chaos, but a tiny part of him was tempted to not do as he had been instructed just this once. If he could be successful in the overall mission, perhaps he could avoid any reprimands from refusing a direct order, but he knew that he couldn’t take that chance. No matter how much this twisted his insides and grated his nerves, he had to complete this task. Adjusting his glasses more out of habit than necessity, he leapt from the tree gracefully and landed on the front lawn of Phantomhive Manor.

He had been ordered to ask the demon for assistance.

With a determined stride that disguised just how much he wished he could run away from this task, William walked to the front entrance, but the door was opened before he had a chance to knock. Like a contemptable piece of art painted by deranged artist, Sebastian stood framed by the doorway as he calmly looked eyes with the reaper. “Ah, Mr. Spears,” he began in faux cultured tone, “To what do I owe this extreme displeasure? No one has died, and that red disgrace of a subordinate of yours is not here either.”

William gritted his teeth but sought to keep his face calm. He had already been annoyed and disgusted, but the demon’s casual insult towards Grell only added to those feelings. “I have been instructed,” he began, ensuring that this beast didn’t think he had come here of his own accord, “to request your assistance in a matter concerning an increase of demonic activity.”

Sebastian smirked. “I offered my assistance to you before,” he said, “and you denied it rather rudely.” His hand flashed and William barely had time to react before silverware was expertly flung at his head. The reaper dodged as he extended his scythe, but Sebastian’s movements were equally quick. He jumped to the side, and William’s scythe pierced the door instead.

“It is quite annoying how every time a reaper makes an appearance here I’m forced to make repairs,” stated Sebastian as he twisted in midair and prepared another assault.

“I didn’t want to come here, demon,” William said, “but Upper Management foolishly thinks you might have some information.”

“Even if I do,” returned Sebastian, “why would I hand over such information so readily?”

“Because it concerns that child with whom you have a contract,” William answered, “or rather, it concerns his family.” His scythe stayed firmly in his right hand, but he reached into his jacket to pull out the folder with his left.

Sebastian eyed the folder for a moment as if expecting this to be nothing more than a trick, but then he stepped forward and retrieved it. Scanning the contents quickly, he chuckled much to William’s annoyance. “I’m surprised that would trust, as you put it, a foul creature such as myself with such valuable information.”

“It wasn’t my choice, demon,” William growled.

“As I can see,” Sebastian replied as he tucked the folder beneath his arm and gestured to the door, “I will share this information with my young master. Step inside while I speak to him, although I do request that you endeavor not to damage any property.”

William didn’t trust himself to answer verbally, but he nodded slightly and stepped inside the manor. Sebastian led him to a room to wait, instructing him to take a seat if he liked, while he went off to show the boy contained in the folder. William decided to stand while he waited, and he wondered how the boy would react that, according to the information gathered by Upper Management’s spies, that both his parents and his paternal grandmother’s souls were among those being hoarded by these demons.

William didn’t have wait long until Ciel quickly entered the room and stood before him. “Do these demons really have the souls of my parents?” he demanded without any sort of a greeting. The boy crossed his arms as he spoke and stared at William with something almost of pure rage blazing in his visible eye. Of course, it was what was glistening in his concealed eye that infuriated William. This child was reason this demon was even in this place or somehow seemed connected to all of the recent mishaps.

“According to our information, that is the case,” William answered, but he hated saying so much. Usually, this sort of information was classified, but his instructions had specified to give these details to the young earl.

Ciel’s face darkened. “Is Undertaker involved?” he asked.

For a brief moment, William was flummoxed. No one had heard anything from the deserter for quite some time, although there was a task force assigned with finding him so that he could be brought back to their realm to face punishment. He hadn’t even considered Undertaker’s involvement, but he couldn’t deny there could be a connection. “I have no information concerning him presently,” he answered honestly, “although it would be foolish to completely rule it out.”

“Of course,” the boy turned away from William. “Sebastian,” he began in a commanding tone, “you are to assist William and get to the bottom of this. Now, let us hurry to this abandoned church.”

“Do you wish to go as well, young master?” Sebastian asked, “It might prove to be quite dangerous.”

“I’m going!” Ciel shouted, “You will take me to this church. This is an order, Sebastian.”

“Yes, my lord.”

((x))

Grell walked through the empty halls of the library and listened as the sound of her own footfalls echoed off the walls and high, arched ceilings. Other than her own footsteps, it was unusually quiet and it made her feel rather alone. Of course, it seemed that she was usually alone these days.

With a sigh, she sat down on a bench as she stared up at all the records. There were some rather salacious records stored in here, although it took some effort to find them, and she remembered sneaking in here as a student to try to find the more intriguing ones. It had been a bit of a game back then, but so much had changed. In fact, the only thing that hadn’t changed was her feelings towards William and his continual rejections. Oddly enough even if she could tell her heart to stop loving him, she probably wouldn’t have done so. There were times when they had spoken bluntly, removed their masks to reveal their true selves, and she had seen something in the depths of William’s normally cold eyes that urged her to keep trying. At the same time, she couldn’t help but wonder how long her heart could take the constant rejection.

As she sat there, engulfed in her own thoughts, a strange noise reached her ears. It was faint, but it sounded like glass cracking and breaking slightly. More curious than anything else, she stood up and made her way towards the noise.

((x))

William closed the portal as Sebastian and Ciel made their way through, but this situation still infuriated him. He knew he was traveling into a possible nest of demons, but he would have far preferred to do so with some reliable agents. He truly didn’t think Sebastian had anything to offer, and he knew that he couldn’t fully trust him. However, he had to focus on the task at hand, so he pushed those feelings aside as he turned his attention to the ruins of the old church.

The stench of demons intertwined the area like poisonous thorns, but William could not get a sense of how many were in the vicinity. Swallowing his pride, he turned toward Sebastian, who was still holding the child earl in his arms like a dog protecting his bone. “So, demon,” he began, “what do you make of this situation?”

Sebastian set the boy down, and William noticed that he wasn’t smirking. “There is a strong presence here,” he answered, “but I can’t get a good sense as to what. There is something else here as well besides demons. It would appear we have a bit of a mystery on our hands.”

“Honestly,” William mumbled, adjusting his glasses. It made no sense to him why Upper Management would have ever sent him to such a location with only a trustworthy demon as his ally. While he prided himself on not taking unnecessary risks, he couldn’t see a reasonable course of action.

“The one thing I am certain of,” Sebastian added, “is that the epicenter is within the desecrated rubble of the church.”

“Of course,” William said, “I suppose it is much too ambitious for me to expect that you are willing to take a closer look.”

Sebastian only smiled. “After you,” he offered.

((x))

The tiny cracking noise that Grell had heard suddenly erupted, and she recognized the sound with something of dread. It was the sound of a holy barrier breaking. She had recognized the barrier when she had entered the library, although she had passed through it without incident. In fact, no one in this realm should have any reason to break through such a barrier, and the realization caused her heart to beat a little faster as she hurried to the noise.

She was not surprised when she saw the demons spilling through the entrance in a desperate search for souls.

The demons must have thought she was retreated when she ran to a far wall, but she simply hit the alarm before summoning her chainsaw. Even with her impressive strength and skills, she knew she had no chance against a massive hoard of demons, but she might be able to hold them off until backup arrived.

Smiling dangerously, she leapt into the air as she prepared to fight. After all, William had given her this assignment, and she was determined to do it correctly.

((x))

William could feel the sweat creeping down his shoulder blades despite the cool evening air as he inched closer to the church. The stench here was so strong that William had to struggle not to gag, but he wasn’t going to show any weakness in front of Sebastian. Slowly, he came to the crumbling wall and peered through an opening that might have once been a window.

Inside were a dozen or so low level demons that had possessed a variety of humans – much like the demon that Grell and he had encountered on their early mission together. The bodies they were inhabiting were beginning to degrade slightly, and there posed no real danger outside of the fact that William was supposed to spare their lives if possible. There were other items scattered about the room which carried the stronger scents that both Sebastian and he had noted previously.

“Not precisely what I was expecting,” Sebastian stated, “It appears that your information was not entirely accurate.”

William shook his head, although he made no attempt to answer verbally. There were no stronger demons here and there were no souls. In fact, this almost seemed like a set-up, because someone or something had taken great pains to make this place appear to be a hotbed of demonic activity. That made no sense, however, unless it was to draw him here and away from the real target.

Suddenly, a thought erupted in William’s mind and he felt his eyes grow wide. The library! It was assumed that it might be targeted, but no one had taken it seriously. That’s why he had assigned it to Grell, but now he feared that it wasn’t so safe after all. “Grell,” he said softly, creating a portal back to his realm. Behind him, he heard the boy shouting something about returning them to the manor, but William didn’t pause. He’d let the demon worry about his and the child’s transportation.

((x))

The moment that Grell felt her scythe ripped from her grasp, she knew that she was in trouble. She had taken out quite a few demons on her own, and had been able to protect all the stored souls so far, but the massive number was just overwhelming. Soon, she felt the blade jammed deeply into her cut and the metallic taste of blood spilled from her mouth.

She wasn’t ready to give up so easily however. Ignoring the pain, she spun around and jammed her high heeled boot straight into the demon’s gut, and smiled as he doubled over and made a strangled noise. Clawed hands grabbed her arms, and cut her skin through her coat and shirt, as the other demon recovered and attacked her again with her own sharp-toothed friend.

The pain became overwhelming, and she felt her legs give out. They dropped crudely in the floor in a crimson pool of her own blood, but she took some comfort that she had spilled her share of demon blood as well. Her records begin to spill out, but she watched in amazement as the seemingly floated up to the ceiling only to vanish. Was this because she was in the library?

Or was it because she was dying before her redemption?

Sound had become vague, but she heard some familiar shouts and realized that other reapers had finally arrived. She was dying, but she had managed to complete her assignment. She had protected the library.

((x))

William arrived just outside the library, but his heart dropped when he saw it already crawling with the other agents, and he could feel no sign of a holy barrier. Ignoring the shouts of protest, he shoved through the crowd and fought his way to the interior where he was met with a horrific sight.

Dead demons were strewn about; their horrific wounds baring Grell signature style. Dark, demonic blood were splattered from ceiling to floor like some bizarre art project gone wrong, and the stench was even worse than what William had experience in the church.

And in the middle of it all lay Grell in a crumpled heap.

Ronald was by Grell’s side, and William could see tears in the blonde reaper’s eyes. He had probably been closer to Grell than anyone else, and William felt strangely envious as he hurried over them and knelt on the other side of Grell.

“Mr. Spears?” Ronald said questioningly. Perhaps he was confused by the look of grief that was now painted on William’s normally cold features.

At the sound of his name, Grell slowly opened his, or rather her, eyes. William recognized how horrible it was that this revelation was coming on what could very well be Grell’s deathbed, but Grell proclaiming herself to be female wasn’t a cry for attention, confusion, or just some phase. Grell’s soul and heart had been that as a woman, and William had to be here on the precipice of losing her forever just to see that.

“Will,” Grell managed, her lips painted red with her own blood. Even the gash down the side of her face didn’t detract from her beauty.

“Sshh,” William hushed, “Don’t try to talk. We’re going to get you to the infirmary.”

Grell smiled strangely. “I’ve made a…mess of the lib…library, darling. Are…you…you going to yell…at me?” Her voice was hoarse, and he could hear she was struggling with each word.

He tried to smile back. “Not this time,” he said.

“It’s…not so…b…bad when…you yell,” Grell managed. She reached for him, but her hand only made it part of the way, so William took her hand in his. “Remember…me,” she whispered, as her eyes closed.

“Of course,” he replied, but he knew the moment the words left his mouth, it was too late.

Grell was dead.

William ran his fingers through the long hair, made redder by all the blood, as he tried to ignore the knots and tangles. He knew how silky her hair usually felt, and that was the memory he was trying to desperately hold on to as two senior reapers stomped into the room. From his position on the floor, William couldn’t see them very well, nor was he trying to do so as his attention was focused on Grell’s torn and bloodied form.

“We’ve caught the culprit responsible for breaking down the holy barrier and allowed the demons to enter,” announced one of the agents.

William stood quickly and crossed the room toward the agents. He felt only anger when he saw that they had managed to capture Undertaker, who was now bound by a series of chains and shackles designed to contain even the strongest reaper. He was smiling his normal half-mad smile as William approached, and it took a lot of restraint for William not to smash him in the face.

“You killed her,” William said in a lone tow, “and I will see you will pay for this crime.”

Undertaker’s smile mysteriously faded. “Her?” he asked. Without his glasses, he probably couldn’t see Grell’s body, although he no doubt was aware of the blood and gore.

“You killed Grell Sutcliff,” restated William, “and you are aware the penalty for the murder of a reaper has a stiff penalty.

“No one was supposed to be in here,” Undertaker said, frowning slightly.

While his words made very little sense, William decided not to dwell on that for the moment as he looked towards the agents. “He needs to be properly detained,” he said, “take him to the maximum security cells in the detention center immediately.

“There is no need for that,” announced a stern voice.

Several members of upper management walked into the room with identical cut black jackets and dark rimmed glasses. If not for their varying hair colors, it would be possible to think that they were all simply clones of the same man. “We’ve come to take the criminal known as Undertaker,” announced a tall man with short, blonde hair, “His crimes have exceeded all expectations with this latest incident, so he will be put to death.”

“That seems like a rather unusual course of actions as there has been no trial,” William said. He struggled to keep his voice steady and to speak as he normally would, but it very difficult. In truth, he wanted to slam his fists into Undertaker’s face in hopes of breaking his straight, white teeth or busting his nose, but he had to appear to be in control. Besides, if Undertaker was to be put to death, it should be specifically for killing Grell and not just the accumulation of his crimes.

“The decision has already been made,” the man replied, “Step aside Mr. Spears or you will be written up for hindering the transportation of a criminal.”

William saw he had no option as the men took Undertaker, created a portal, and left. During this time, the room was completely silent as everyone seemed to be trying to comprehend what was happening. Without a word, William turned and slowly walked over to Grell’s body, which he effortlessly picked up from the floor. How she would have loved to be in his arms while alive, but sadly the only time William had ever truly held her was after she had died.

He carefully held his emotions inside, but his heart was shattering a little more with each pathetic beat. Death among the reapers was rare, but there were still rites and procedures to be attended to, and William was going to make sure that Grell had a proper funeral and burial. What nagged at him was the uncertainty of Grell’s future. William had no way of knowing if this final act had been enough for Grell to receive redemption. If she had not, then she would not be allowed to move on. At best, she had simply disappeared as if she had never existed. At worst, she would be forced to suffer in Hell.

Either way, he would never see Grell again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

The sun was just beginning to rise as the darkness gave way to the glorious, spreading hues of red and gold. Slowly, the liquid beams crept stealthily over the landscape as their world began to awaken.

But it was all a lie.

The sun, the grass, and even the tiny wildflowers that swayed delicately in the fields in the soft breeze were all fake. It was merely an illusion to trick the part of their brains that still clung to their former humanity they had once tried to forsake. Yet, as William stood there, he realized he no longer cared for this false environment that surrounded him. The cold, gray stone emblazoned with the name Grell Sutcliff was the only reality. Only Grell’s name had been etched into the stone. There were no titles of wife, lover, or even friend beneath, and William’s heart ached at the omission.

“It has been rather quiet as of late,” William stated as his eyes crawled across the stone, “Aside from one minor outbreak of the measles, there has not been any incidences that have resulted in extensive overtime.”

His only answer was the wind, and he adjusted his glasses uncomfortably. He was no better at talking to her now then he had been when she was alive.

“The weather has also been surprisingly cooperate considering the season,” he continued, “I know it can be an unpleasant experience to be thoroughly drenched while still on the clock. Speaking of clocks, I suppose I must be going now. It would be unseemly for a supervisor to be tardy.” He hated how cold and professional his words sounded, even if she could no longer hear him, but it was difficult for him to speak any other way. 

Carefully, he placed a single red rose on her grave just as he did each day before turning to walk away. After taking a few steps, he paused and glanced back one last time. “I miss you,” he said in a soft tone that was carried away with the breeze.

While he could have created a portal to work, he preferred to walk as it gave him a chance to organize his thoughts and put them back in a straight, orderly line. By the time he reached dispatch, there was no sign of superfluous emotion on his face, and no one would have any way of knowing where he had been or what he had done. As always, he arrived before the agents.

Grell’s desk set in the far corner, just as it had been for years, but now it was set up almost like a shrine to the fiery reaper. While her assignments had been removed, every little doodle and useless ornament had been left in place. While alive, she had been a bit of an outcast among the rest of the agency and a walking punchline to a poorly written joke, but her death had raised her to almost a legendary status. It had been five years since the incident in the library, but you could hear the tales of it tiptoe up and down the halls as if it had happened only yesterday. Newly assigned reapers would pause before the desk, their eyes growing wide, as they recounted the story they had heard of how Grell had, single-handedly, protected the library from a hoard of demons until backup had arrived. William often had to bite his lip to keep from remarking that the stories didn’t even come close to doing Grell justice.

He heard footsteps coming this direction, so he hurriedly walked into his own office to avoid being seen staring at Grell’s desk like some kind of sentimental fool. By the time the first few agents trickled in, still yawning as if the last vestiges of sleep clung to their brains, William was standing in his doorway like an immoveable, unfeeling sentinel. Almost no one even bothered to say hello or wish him a good morning as they walked past. Once most everyone had arrived, William shut his door and walked slowly to his own desk to get an early start on the paperwork that seemed to stretch forever. Since this was his punishment for the mistakes he had made in his human life, perhaps that was exactly how long it stretched.

He had worked for several hours without making an apparent dent in his workload, when a knock interrupted his thoughts. “Enter,” he announced, as he sat straighter in his chair.

The door opened and he found himself staring in the too somber face of Ronald Knox. Besides himself, Ronald had been the most affected by Grell’s passing, and he had never completely recovered. He had tried to drown himself in liquor and narcotics, and he would have ended his life again had it not been for his reaper stamina and resistance. Although he drank heavily almost every waking hour he was not working, he was always apparently sober when he came to office due to his own enhanced healing. The poison simply didn’t affect him the same.

“I think there’s a mistake in my jobs for today,” Ronald began, his voice hoarse as if he had been gargling glass, “unless I’m supposed to reap the same bloke twice.”

William frowned slightly. “Let me see,” he instructed, holding out his hand.

Ronald’s face darkened when he stepped into the room. Not only had he become less sociable since Grell’s passing, William often sensed that the younger reaper was particularly upset with him for some reason. Perhaps it was because he had put Grell in the library, even though he had no idea that it would be dangerous at the time. It wasn’t as if William hadn’t blamed himself for that decision, but it bothered him that Ronald might feel the same way. Not a word was spoken as he handed the paperwork over for William to study.

“It’s not the same man,” William said after a few minutes, “but rather twin brothers with nearly identical names.” 

“Oh, I see,” Ronald said, retrieving the paperwork, “I just thought that the higher ups had gone a little dotty or something.”

There was a rough knock on William’s door, but it was opened before he had a chance to speak. William knew the man in his doorway well for he was one of the senior faculty of the academy, but it had been some time since he had spoken to him directly. “Mr. Hamilton,” William said, “Is there something I can help you with, sir?”

Hamilton nodded quickly. He was a small man with thinning blonde hair and usually a quick smile painted on his somewhat ruddy face, but now he looked distressed. He was paler than usual and sweat was gathering upon the scalp which was visible. “I need you to come with me,” he said in a slightly out of breath tone, “and you should come as well Knox. This may just affect both of you.”

William and Ronald shared a quick look, but something had obviously disturbed Hamilton quite a bit, so they didn’t spend any extra time discussing the matter. William quickly stood and walked across the room to follow Hamilton and Ronald fell in step behind both of them. As they hurried on to the student portion of their realm, William couldn’t help but wonder what had upset the older man so much. He had known him for over a century now, and he had never seen him so flustered.

The entered a small building where no recruits were taken to be slowly awakened as reapers for the first time. It was such a small, unassuming building painted a pale gray that it was hard to think the importance it held for all of them. To William’s knowledge, every reaper currently in existence had first opened their green and gold eyes in that building. Apparently, it held some new importance as Hamilton led them inside and into an observation room. William was about to ask why they had come to this room, when he happened to look through the glass, and his breath caught in his throat. There was no mistaking that flame red hair, even it was a good deal shorter, or fair, porcelain skin that manage to shine even under the dull light. Mesmerized, William watched as the slender fingers tapped the table rapidly and felt his own heart speed up to match the rhythm, but he couldn’t seem to will his mouth to form any coherent words. While he was still struggling, Ronald walked beside him and gasped.

“Grell!” he exclaimed, and William could see his wide eyes glistening.

“I don’t understand what is happening here,” William finally managed.

“We’re all stumped,” Hamilton admitted, “but Sutcliff here just suddenly appeared with the new recruits. It appears that he’s been reborn as well.”

William mentally corrected Hamilton’s pronoun usage, although he felt a twinge of guilt for every time he had been guilty of the same thing. “I was under the assumption that such a thing is impossible,” he said as he struggled to keep his tone even.

“It’s a miracle,” Ronald stated.

“I thought it was impossible too,” Hamilton agreed, “So, maybe young Knox here is right. Maybe this is a miracle. But now we have to figure what to do next.” He sighed loudly and ran his hand through his hair, causing a few strands to stand up like a pale rooster’s comb. “He has no memory of his previous existence as a reaper. It’s like he’s being reborn from his human life all over again.”

“So what does that mean precisely?” asked William.

Hamilton leaned heavily on the mirror although Grell couldn’t see him. “He’ll have to start all over again,” he replied, “From the first class of the academy. It’s possible his memories may return, but there’s no way to know. There’s no precedence to any of this! But the big question is what to tell him.”

“Why is that such a big problem?” demanded Ronald, “Maybe that will just help Grell remember.”

“It’s a problem because we can’t unduly influence Sutcliff,” William said slowly as the realization dawned on him, “Just like there are those who are unable to remember their human lives when they are first reborn, we cannot share too much information with them. It is so they might find their own path. It is an ancient rule among all reapers.”

Ronald grumbled something about that being a foolish rule, but Hamilton was nodding. “Precisely,” he said, “We’ll have to tell him some things of course. There’s too many that will recognize him, but I thought we’d keep it simple. We’ll just tell him that he was a reaper before but died in a demon attack. That’s the truth, but we can’t elaborate any further. We still don’t even know why he was reborn.”

“I think it would be best if I was the one to talk to Sutcliff,” William announced.

Hamilton nodded. “That’s why I wanted Knox and you to be here,” he said, “but there’s one thing you need to understand. This isn’t the Sutcliff you knew.”

“What do you mean?” William question, “She looks the same as when we went to the academy. I am well aware that her temper was more of an issue initially, but she was still Grell.”

There was a long pause as Hamilton seemed to search for his words. If he had noticed that William had referred by her surname or she, he didn’t react. “You didn’t meet Sutcliff until you last year of the academy, did you?” he asked in return.

“I only met her when we were assigned to be partners on our final exam,” William answered. The question perplexed him as he no clue what point Hamilton may be trying to make. “We were in different classes up until that point.”

Hamilton nodded again. “When Sutcliff was a student originally,” he began in a slow, measured tone, “he…she was much shyer and meeker. I suppose it was just left over from struggles in life that had led her here. Unfortunately, not all of the students were kind, and we were never sure what precisely happened since Sutcliff refused to say. Afterwards, Sutcliff had changed – developing the anger and attitude you mentioned. None of this has happened, so those personality traits haven’t developed just yet.” He sighed loudly. “This isn’t the Sutcliff you knew,” he finally reiterated.

William didn’t respond. The entire time Hamilton had been talking he had been looking through the glass. While she couldn’t see them, Grell had turned their way and William’s eyes had locked onto those lovely two-toned irises that he knew so well.

It didn’t matter what Hamilton had said. This was still Grell. She was still his Grell.

((x))

She sat nervously in the plain, cool room as she drummed her fingers on the table top. Although she couldn’t be certain, she hadn’t seen anyone else herded into a room like this, so she worried that she had already done something wrong or was being singled out. It appeared that the story of her life had ever followed her to second life, but she didn’t dare laugh at the pitiful irony. She was far too worried for that. Breathing deeply, she looked at the large mirror that dominated one wall, but resisted the urge to make a face at her reflection. Although she appreciated the new eye color, which was so much vibrant than dull green eyes she had possessed previously, the rest of her face displeased her as always. With her recently cut hair, her features seemed even harsher than usual.

The door behind her opened, and she turned slightly to see three men enter the room. She smiled slightly, although she feared that they had come here to deliver the usual bad news. Silently, she studied each of the men as they entered.

The first one was tall and slender. His perfectly groomed dark hair and square, no-nonsense glasses gave him the air of someone who didn’t stand for any foolishness. There was a certain coldness to his facial features and rigid stance, and the expression in eyes was impossible to determine. She fought not to squirm under his fierce gaze as she shifted her eyes to the next man.

He looked younger and was neither as tall nor as strict in appearance as the first man. The top half of his playful hair was blonde but the base was black, and it had been carefully styled so as to not look styled. His glasses were oversized which added to his youthful appearance, and his outfit seemed to fit the bill of professional while still maintaining an individual style. The expression on his face was also hard to determine, although he looked as if he was struggling not to cry for some reason.

The final visitor was close to the same height as the young man, but he clearly looked the oldest of the three. He was stockier built with thinning, blonde hair. His glasses consisted of a simple, black frame that neither added nor detracted from his overall look. Although well dressed, she could see wet patches of sweat gathering beneath his arms and corresponding beads of sweet on his forehead. He simply appeared scared and nervous.

“Hello,” she greeted, and she silently cursed herself for the way her voice squeaked. She hated being so meek because she knew that, somewhere deep inside her, there was so much more passion and fire wrapped up in her plain shell. She just didn’t know how to release it.

“Hello, Sutcliff,” the tall man greeted, “My name is William T. Spears. I trust you were able to attend the reaper orientation before you were brought here.”

“Yes, sir.”

To her surprise, the man winced slightly as if her words were offensive somehow. “So, you understand that you’ve been reborn as a reaper because you attempted to end your own human life?”

“Yes, sir,” she repeated, “Although there is still a lot that that I’m confused about.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “It will become more comprehensible with time,” he said, “There is something about your case that is different, however, which is why we have come here to address.” He paused slightly as more unreadable emotions flickered across his face like sunbeams passing through clouds. “This is the second time being reborn as a reaper. While I understand you have no memory of this, we felt it was important that you were given this information. There may be those here who will seem to know you that will be as complete strangers. This should not alarm you.”

She carefully took in all this information. “Second time being reborn?” she asked, “What happened to me the first time?”

The man adjusted his glasses and the glare of the overhead lights hid his eyes from her. “You were killed by demons.”

Somehow the knowledge that she had be killed disturbed her despite the fact she could clearly remember ending her own life. “I see,” she managed, her voice shaky, “So, did we know each other before?” Smiling slightly, she shifted her eyes over the trio and allowed them to rest on the young, blonde man. The tears in his eyes were more evident now, but he had begun to smile. “We were friends, weren’t we?” she asked.

He opened his mouth to answer, but the man who had identified himself as William put his hand in front of the young man to stop him. “I am afraid that former friendships are not viable matters at this point,” he said, “Our focus needs to be on…”

Before he could finish a young man with spikey brown hair ran into the room. He whispered something that she couldn’t quite hear to William and his younger companion, and she saw their expressions change to one of shock and surprise.

“Hamilton,” William began, “I’m afraid that we have to go and attend to an urgent matter.”

“Of course,” Hamilton replied, “I’ll attend to Sutcliff here.”

William nodded and rushed from the room, but she noticed that he hesitated briefly in the doorway to glance back at her. His face was as cryptic as ever, and she begin to fear that she had known this man before, and that he hated her. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time. Once he and the younger man whose name she hadn’t caught left the room, Hamilton laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“It’s been quite a day,” he began, “Let’s get you settled in your dorm room. We thought that you might like a room to yourself.”

She nodded silently as she stood. Of course they give her a room to herself. She would be alone.

Just like always.

((x))

“Why would a demon enter our realm by himself?” Ronald asked, as soon as he and William had stepped through the portal, “Isn’t that suicide?”

“Actions from accursed creatures rarely make sense to a rational mind,” William replied, but his heart beat faster as they walked through the cemetery. Soon, they came across a plethora of agents who had managed to capture the lone demon with no visible injuries or losses. The demon in question, who had the appearance of a young, blonde man with piercing blue eyes, was cursing in an ancient language as he struggled in vain with the celestial handcuffs that had been firmly attached to his wrists.

William’s attention, however, wasn’t on the demon, but on their current location. Just to the left set Grell’s supposed final resting place. The scarlet rose he had left just that morning was crumpled and destroyed as it lay on the trampled grass next to an open, empty maw that had once been Grell’s grave.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

He sat motionless on the floor of the featureless, gray cell without speaking, although the occasional growl would pass through his cracked lips when anyone would step too close to the bars. So far, the demon had not dropped his human disguise except for his eyes. The previously blue irises were now a swirling vortex of reds and violets, and the sight of it only inspired more anger from William. He had always despised demons, but his disgust had grown exponentially since Grell’s death. These vile creatures always seemed to be core of so much of his troubles and heartache. 

“Why do you think it came here?” Ronald whispered to William, but the demon’s ears were apparently as sensitive as their own.

The demon laughed unpleasantly, rocking forward slightly as he did. “You could ask IT,” he said, as sarcasm dripped from his tone like venom, “but I don’t think you’ll get an answer.”

William’s anger rose, and he took the seven steps to the front of the cell and slammed his palm against a button nearby. A blue, celestial energy suddenly rippled through the room and the demon cried out in pain as his body began to jerk like a poorly operated marionette. His dance of agony did nothing to abate William’s rage, but he didn’t stop the wave of energy until he smelled the demon’s hair begin to singe. With some reluctance, he released the button and stepped back slightly.

The demon breathed loudly and hoarsely as his spasms subsided, but then he only began to laugh as he had before. “I will remember this,” he growled in a low tone that no longer resembled anything remotely human, “and you will be punished accordingly. Just wait and see! When my kind possess the forbidden power and are risen to the level we so rightly deserve, you will be punished.” Exhausted from the pain, he pitched forward onto his face, but even muffled against the floor, it was still possible to hear his insane, horrible laughter. The sound seemed to follow William as he left prison with nothing to show for all his efforts except for more questions.

None of this made any sense. William was thankful that Grell had returned, even if she no longer had any memories of her being a reaper, but this was just too much of a mystery. While he had been waiting to question the demon, he had learned that Grell’s grave was truly empty, and more demons had been sighted in the human world, although none had moved to attack any reapers. He had no idea how or even why the two events were connected, but he feared for Grell’s safety – especially since this Grell hadn’t learned to protect herself from demons. It was doubtful she had been given so much as a trainee scythe yet, and any demon willing to physically travel to this realm was obviously desperate enough to pose a serious threat. He turned and looked back at Ronald, who had been following closely.

“We have to increase our defenses,” William announced, “There is no proof that these beasts are targeting Sutcliff personally or if her return merely coincides with their recent activity, but it would be prudent for her to be moved to a more secure location.”

Ronald’s eyes had been locked on the ground, but now his gaze rose until he was looking at William directly, and there was a surprising anger burning in his two-toned irises. “You act awfully protective of her now,” he said, “What? Do you feel guilty? You should.”

William halted immediately and spun around to face the younger man. “Do you blame me for Grell’s death?” he demanded, “Do you? Is that the reason you’ve been acting like this since…” His voice trailed off as he found himself to finish his thought.

“Since Grell died,” Ronald finished, as tears began to fill his eyes. “In a way, I do blame you” he answered after a few moments, “but not because you told her to be in the library. No, I blame you for always turning your back on Grell when she needed you. She laid her heart out to you and always tried to get your attention. She died trying to do what you wanted you to do. That’s what I blame you for!” His voice had risen with each word, and his shoulders were shaking as he cried freely.

“Did you love her?” William asked quietly.

“Yes, but not in the way she loved you,” replied Ronald, “She was my mentor and friend, but she was more than that. She was like my big sister I guess, and the only one I could count on.” He lifted up his glasses and swiped at his tears almost violently. “I could go to her with my problems, and she would listen, but no one, other than me, ever listened to her. Do you know how many times she told me how much she loved you?”

William shook his head. “I did push her away,” he admitted, “but I’m determined not to make the same mistakes again.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing that Grell can’t remember anything,” Ronald said, “She can’t remember the way you treated her in the past. Who knows? If we’re lucky, this time Grell will be smart enough not to fall in love with you in the first place.”

William winced at the words, but he recognized that Ronald was only speaking out of hurt – and there was some truth as to what he had said. “Perhaps,” he agreed hoarsely, “I cannot undo my past mistakes, but I plan to do everything in my ability not to repeat my errors.” He adjusted his glasses and looked at Ronald sternly, but he could already see a bit of the blonde reaper’s anger had dissipated. “Go and get Sutcliff,” he instructed, “and bring her back to Dispatch. She will be safest surrounded by field agents.”

Ronald looked as if he was going to protest, but then he simply nodded and walked away. William couldn’t help but notice how Ronald’s shoulders were slumped slightly, as if he was carrying a heavy load, and he hoped that the previous outburst had helped him slightly. Ronald was right in a lot of what he had said, and William had struggled with the guilt for so long now. He had sent Grell to the library because he hadn’t wanted her to flirt with Sebastian, and to keep her safely out of the way, but he had sent her to her death. This was all his fault, but he was going to finally make things right.

((x))

Grell walked slowly and deliberately across the grassy area to a simple bench beneath a lovely tree. Everything was so confusing. Hamiliton had said it was always confusing for brand new reapers since everything was so different and new, but it was different for her. So many here seemed to know her, but they were nothing but strangers. She had heard her name called a few times now, and she had been treated almost as if she was a celebrity. While she had sought recognition and acknowledgement in her human life, it felt too strange to be remembered for something that she had apparently forgotten. To make matters worse, she felt like everyone else knew more about who she was than she did, but they all had decided to keep it a secret from her. Her emotions was already swinging wildly from confusion, sadness, to anger. She couldn’t understand why someone just didn’t tell her something.

“Aren’t you that Grell Sutcliff freak?” a voice demanded nearby.

She looked up and saw a group of older students surrounding her. She had been so lost in her own thoughts, she hadn’t heard them approach, but now she did her best to give a friendly smile. “I’m Grell Sutcliff,” she answered – purposely ignoring the freak comment for the moment.

The apparent leader of the group was a tall, broad-shouldered young man with wavy hair the color sand. He laughed in a mocking manner as he stared down at her. Even if she had been standing, he would have towered over her. “I thought you were that freak,” he said, “I’d heard you come back, but I didn’t believe it. Here I thought I’d never have a chance to challenge you.” He laughed as he stepped forward and his comrades created a semicircle around them. 

“They say you were the best ever in Practical,” he continued, “No one had ever gotten a triple A before, and no one has sense, but I know I’m better with my scythe. Let me see what you’ve got!” He extended his hand and a tool that she realized must be his scythe appeared in his grasp.

“But I don’t even have a scythe!” Grell returned.

He laughed again. “That’s okay,” he said, “Conrad here will loan you his for now, as long as you don’t let it get too stained with your blood.” A thin man with a thick mane of black hair stepped forward to offer her what she could tell was a crooked, useless weapon.

“What’s going on here?” someone demanded.

Grell turned and let out a sigh of relief when she saw the young man with the blonde and black hair she had seen before. He had looked at her kindly and warmly the first time they had met, or rather the first time she could remember meeting him, and she was hopeful he was here to lend a hand.

“Nothing,” the tall student said, “We were just going.” He seemed to almost pout as him and his friends turned and walked away. Grell worried it wouldn’t be the last time she would see them, although she couldn’t help but think things would have gone different if she did have her own scythe.

“Thank you,” she said.

The blonde man returned her smile and extended his hand to help her to her feet. “What did they want?” he asked.

“I think they were trying to challenge me.”

He frowned slightly. “How did they even know you were here?” he asked, but his tone was so low she suspected he was talking to himself more than her. Shaking his head, his casual smile returned. “No need to worry about that,” he said, “I’ve come to take you over to dispatch. It’s where you used to work, so we thought you’d like it there. It might even help bring your memories back.” He held his arm, and she gladly took it.

“Anything’s better than just wandering around here, I suppose,” she said.

“Oh, and to answer your earlier question, we were friends before.”

The news made her feel buoyant, and she smiled brightly. “I knew it!” she exclaimed, “It’s so good to know that I had at least one friend. So, friend, mind telling me your name?”

He laughed softly. “Ronald Knox,” he answered, “but you called me Ronnie or Ron…or some nicknames I’d rather not remind you of just yet.”

“Tell me,” she pleaded.

“No way!”

They continued to tease each other as they walked back to what she assumed to be Dispatch, and she found herself happier and more relaxed than she had been since first waking up in this odd realm. There were some stares when she entered the building, but these were friendlier and less challenging. She was greeted with “…good to see you again,” rather than someone wanting to see if she was tough or still some sort of freak. Yet, despite this change, she still sensed there was something off just below the surface. Ronnie had always been her friend, and she could feel that, but she wasn’t so sure about everyone else. She felt they were looking at her with something of fear and disgust, and she couldn’t help but wonder what she had done before to make them look at her like that.

Ronald led her to a desk that he told her was hers, and she did feel at home there. The little doodles were just like the ones she had always made when bored, and she so loved all the red of the little ornaments. At least there was one place around here where she felt like she belonged. She was just getting settled when the man that had introduced himself as William previously stepped out of a nearby office. His cold eyes barely glanced at her, and again she felt as if he even had trouble just looking at her. 

“Knox,” he said, “A word.”

Ronald sighed softly, but he immediately walked over to the open door of the office. “I’ll be right back,” he said to Grell before disappearing inside.

She smiled at him as she turned her attention back to the battered and scarred desk. This had been hers, and she ran her hands across the surface hoping to spark some memory.

But there was nothing.

((x))

“What is it Mr. Spears?” Ronald asked after he had shut the door. To William’s relief, he didn’t sound as angry or upset as he had before.

“I’ve received some troubling news, Knox,” William began, “Word of Sutcliff’s apparent resurrection has spread very quickly. In fact, it has spread too quickly, and has produced some unexpected reactions.”

Ronald nodded. “When I went to retrieve Grell,” he said, “there was this group of students trying to challenge her.”

“Quite frankly, this does not make any sense,” William admitted, “While there is no precedent for such an event, it is very surprising at how fast word has spread. While there are those who are happy at the news, or see Sutcliff as some sort of hero that has returned, there is a lot of negative speculation as well. She is being blamed for the rise of demonic activity, as well as troubles among the new class of reapers.”

“Already?” Ronald asked, “But she just returned this morning.”

“I am well aware of that fact, Knox,” replied William, “which is why I feel that I do not understand this current situation. Of course, that is not the most disturbing bit of news.” He turned and picked up a folder from his desk before waving it towards Knox slightly. William wanted to burn the accursed contents of the folder, and it was hard to contain all the anger raging inside of him.

“This is from Upper Management,” he said, “and they state their orders come from even higher on the management chain. The matter is to be investigated quickly, but they are already of the mindset that Grell’s return was unnatural and will interfere with the delicate balance we strive so hard to maintain.”

William took a deep breath as he dreaded the words that had to pass through his lips. “They said that Grell was supposed to remain dead and feel that she should be killed.”

For a moment, there was no words as a myriad of emotions flickered across Ronald’s face. “They can’t be serious,” he finally managed.

“I fear that they are,” William replied, “but I won’t let them do that. I couldn’t protect Grell before, but I am determined to do my best this time.”

“But what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know,” admitted William, “but if they come to take Grell’s life, then I will do what I need to protect her. This might mean I will have to leave my position, and this realm, forever.”

Ronald blinked a few times. “You’d be giving up your own redemption,” he said in a quiet tone.

“So be it,” William replied, “What good is redemption if I couldn’t stand who I’d become to obtain it? If that means I have to be a deserter, then that is what I’ll do.” He dropped the folder on his desk and almost managed a wry smile. “Do you think I’d make a good undertaker? I’ve heard that’s a good professor for deserters.”

“Well, I don’t think your clients would complain about your personality, or rather the lack thereof,” returned Ronald.

They briefly laughed, and William was thankful that Ronald hadn’t made fun of his brief attempt at dark humor. They had just needed a moment to calm down and collect their thoughts as the struggled to figure out their next move.

Before they could think of what to do, a shout outside of the office suddenly erupted, and they knew their moment to calm down had passed.

((x))

Grell was sitting quietly at her desk, running her fingers along some of the gouge marks, when a woman suddenly screamed behind her. More curious than frightened, she turned to see the cause of the commotion, when her own mouth fell open in surprise and a soundless scream. She might had lost all of her memories as a reaper, but she certainly knew an angel when she saw one.

She looked to be a frighteningly beautiful woman with flowing locks of golden hair that moved about her delicate form under their own power. Her eyes were icy blue and had no emotion in the cold irises as they flickered about the room, but her small, pink mouth curled into the slightest of smiles when her gaze fell up on Grell. She shifted her snowy wings as her she raised her hand to point at Grell at the very moment William and Ronald rushed out of the office.

“Grell Sutcliff,” the angel announced, her voice echoing about the room, “You are to come with me.”

“Wait a moment,” William said, “What is going on here? Why are you demanding Grell to go with you?”

The angel looked mildly annoyed. “The reaper known as Grell Sutcliff is no longer safe,” she replied, “even among his own kind. He will be brought up to the higher celestial realm where he can be properly protected.”

“A reaper cannot last long in the higher celestial realm since they still retain physical bodies,” countered William, “as well as mortal memories. It will destroy her mind and body.”

“Then you wish for him to remain here and be killed?” asked the angel.

“No,” replied William, “Grell will stay here and I, we, will protect her.”

The angel took a few steps forward. “If I choose to take the reaper, even all of you combined will not be able to stop me.”

“We will try,” William stated.

The angel snorted softly. “Very well then, but know this. If death finds Grell Sutcliff once again, the crime and punishment will be on your head.” She smiled cynically, and William couldn’t help but think the angel was giving up a little too easily, as if this had been an act, when she flapped her wings a few times and created a portal that enveloped her form. Within seconds, she had disappeared completely.

“I think our problem just got bigger,” Ronald said, “What are we going to do?”

“Precisely what I said we were going to do,” William replied, “We are going to protect Grell.” Walking over, the tall, stoic man stared down at Grell, but this time there was some other emotion in his usually cold eyes. “You will be staying in my apartment tonight until we can get matters sorted out. This will be for your own protection.”

Grell wanted to argue because she wanted at least a voice in a matter that seemed to concern her exclusively, but she liked the way William had spoken so forcefully and in control. “I understand,” she managed, although she confused why she felt her cheeks burning as if she was blushing.


End file.
